Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Years Greetings...

Happy New Year! Let's hope it is better than the last. But unfortunately I have the sneaking suspicion it's going to get way worse before it gets any better...So sit back, make yourself comfortable, drink heavily, and prepare for a rough ride, look on the bright side our new president can at least explain how shitty things are in complete sentences...

Normally I would do a year in review type thingy to wrap everything up, point out the horror of it all, so that it doesn't get flushed down the collective memory hole, but let's be honest wouldn't you rather just try to forget the last year, not to mention the last eight?

Monday, December 29, 2008

Shut the fuck up Pickles...

Now the deadenders, trying in vain to resuscitate the Bush legacy, have Pickles and Condi making the rounds defending the indefensible. Pickles was bold enough to claim (like all the other Bush apologists) that history would vindicate Georgie the boy King. What a fucking joke, don't any of these clowns know that the history has already been written. Pickles has really been living up to her moniker, it must be the two packs of Camel bare-ass (smoked daily in the Rose garden) and the daily fifth of Wild Turkey that has fried her brain to the point of believing her husband is something other than a total fucking failure as a human being let alone as a president...

Thank his noddley appendage that our long national nightmare is almost over, to paraphrase another con-job who won't shut his gaping maw...Ronald Reagan is dead, his policies live on, but we are in the process of doing something about that. Can you guess which Reich-wing tool spewed that forth? Here's a hint, replace Ronald Reagan with FDR and then I bet you know who...

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Great White North X-mas...

Okay, okay I was wrong about the white X-mas. It was white alright. Plenty fucking white. So much so that I was really glad I got the hell out of town to some place where the weather was better...that being believe it or not...Canada!

At first it looked like the righteous armies of Baby Jeebus won again this year (because after all X-mas still happened) but did they really?

Doesn't the success of X-mas depend on the ridiculous unsustainable spending habits of Americans? Those poor deluded masses of American people buying unwanted and unnecessary crap manufactured by Chinese children working in slave-like conditions? Why yes it does...so by that standard the war has been won by us...the forces of evil Secular Progressives trying to spoil X-mas for the great unwashed. So this year I declare victory for the evil-doers trying to ruin the X-mas of smug self-righteous Christians all over our nation. Yes! Finally! Although in reality it did still happen, but that won't stop idiots like Billo from doing his non-existent war on Christmas crap next year...

After spending X-mas in beautiful Victoria, British Columbia. I have come to this conclusion. We need a Boxing day in America! Those silly Canucks have got it going on Boxing day...eh!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Oh you've got to be fucking kidding!

Wow, it snowed even more last night. Northwesterners are so not cut out for any quantity of this horrible white shit. There is a bright-side however, this crappy weather may have become my greatest ally in stopping the scourge popularly known as X-mas...


Sunday, December 21, 2008

Enough already...

Happy Winter Solstice everybody! The weather here officially sucks. I swear it hasn't been this bad, this long, in at least twenty years. We have mostly been stuck inside, but we ventured out yesterday and went to the store in anticipation of a coming wind storm. After being without power for five days a couple years ago, we are much more prepared these days, but we still needed some supplies. Oh boy what a mistake, everybody and their cousin was in the store forcing their way through aisles and grabbing everything in sight. What a nightmare, this shit always shuts this city down. Oh well, at least we have power...

Friday, December 19, 2008

Too bad you fucked-up everything else...

I saw a billboard the other day that stated in bold giant-sized letters, "Thank you President Bush for keeping us safe since 9/11". Of course you could probably guess, that kind of insipid statement will always make me fume, and it's never a good thing to be distracted while driving. So the people responsible for producing this billboard are total dicks for distracting me. Frankly they are dicks just because they seem to have forgotten that he failed to protect us on that fateful day...All of this is despite the fact that the president's job is specifically to protect the Constitution. The oath mentions nothing of protecting you and me...Regardless this is just part of the campaign to white-wash history with some seriously lame revisionist bullshit. Of course the lemmings who are still fans of the President will repeat the lies, over and over, trying vainly to make Dubya something other than the worst president ever...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Snow day!

It was bad everywhere very early this morning, so I made an early decision to not even bother trying to go to work. The thing about living in this area is that every third person on the road should not be there. They should be at home, not driving. Not going to work has to be a lot less expensive and than waiting three hours for a tow truck to pull you out of the ditch...

Snow in the Puget Sound area also goes by another name, that being a colossal cluster-fuck...
Stay at home, enjoy this rarity, it won't last until the dreaded X-mas. (It seems like a safe bet that X-mas will happen again despite my continued yearly attempts to destroy it forever) The snow never lasts, there has never been a white X-mas ever in my lifetime...it's weird, but then again so is the weather here...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Snow day?

Will I have a snow day tomorrow? Most likely not, the schools were closed today for no discernable reason, it didn't even start snowing until five o'clock. We are so incredibly pathetic when it comes to snow, it literally causes the entire Puget Sound region to come to a screeching halt, briefly before skidding into a ditch...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Blatant nepotism...

I have written before of my disdain for political dynasties and the notion of an American aristocracy of wealthy politically active families. So the talk of Caroline Kennedy replacing Hillary Clinton is just farcical. I would not vote for Senator Clinton, but she did win election in New York. However Kennedy has no experience, at the very least I believe the people should decide in a special election and not let an obviously unqualified candidate be given the seat simply because of her last name. The appointment of such a position by one individual, governor or not, is anathema to our constitutionally limited democratically elected representative republic.


David Sirota correctly stated, “We are a country whose founders warned us against the creation of royalty — royalty really being the mixture of infinite political power and celebrity. But in this, the American Idol age, politicians are our newest celebrities.”

Dynasties are dangerous to our republic, we should not be ruled by aristocrats...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Throwing insults...literally

I can only laugh at the attempt, no matter how feeble, of one Iraqi journalist to make George Bush understand the consequences of his actions in Iraq. I think I understand the sentiment. but I can only imagine the impact on the Iraqi people of our continued military presence there.


Could the animosity felt by some Iraqis possibly be a result of our corrupt, failed attempt to rebuild Iraq? Could it be the uncounted Iraqi civilian causalities that range anywhere from one hundred thousand to one million? George would ask them where their gratitude was for all the freedom he has given them for almost six years now...
Read here:
Of course nothing is as pathetic as the Bush response to another reporter he said, "so what?" Those sorts of things happen when people have the right to express the freedom that he has so imperiously bestowed upon him...I have the feeling that "so what" will be his response to any criticism of the his legacy...

Friday, December 12, 2008

It's been a year to remember...

As of today I have been blogging for an entire year. In that interval I have posted three hundred and seven times, it's been a very interesting experience. There were times when I'm sure I have come across as just mildly nuts but at other times as a completely fucking insane left wing loon. If you don't think so, then you haven't really been paying attention. For if you were ever unfortunate enough to find yourself agreeing with anything I say, then you must be crazy too...

As I said at the beginning this blog serves mainly as a cathartic outlet, yet it is strangely accurate and in some cases preternaturally prophetic. I appreciate any feedback and I will keep writing as long as I feel the desire...plus it helps to have a handy reference when I tell my wife I predicted something months before, now I have the means to say.....told you so!
May his noddley appendage dangle above you in a slightly menacing yet strangely comforting way keeping you safe this holiday season.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Can't they come up with something new?

I predict that Barack Obama will be blamed for the indiscretions of every Democratic politician from now on. Although I'm not going to too far out on a limb with that prediction. Just watch it will happen, especially if those politicians are from Chicago...What else can the Republicans do? They have nothing else to attack with, so they will use whatever they have, in this case that very lame guilt by association meme, the same one they used during the election. Instead of Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright, it's crooked Illinois Governor Blagojevich and the entire Chicago political establishment...Just watch!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Pay-to-play...

I am not partisan when it comes to political corruption. Crooked asshole scumbags are crooked asshole scumbags, regardless of which party they hold allegiance.


I must also congratulate the 2nd district of Louisiana who voted out known crook William Jefferson (D). Yet inexplicably, he remains untried for the corruption he is charged with. Good job Bush Justice Department!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Get over it Wingnuts!

Do the remaining wingnut douche-bags have nothing left in their arsenal other than clogging our courts with frivolous lawsuits that are completely without merit? It's a rhetorical question of course they don't, they are pencil-dicked sore-losers who are still angry that they were fired from their last job as a gay-porn fluffer when the producer found out they voted in favor of Prop. 8. Times are tough for former fluffers in our limp economy. At least they still have their guns and their religion to bitterly cling to, since their children no longer want to see them and their former significant others have filed for restraining orders.


Will this end the Reichwing from beating this dead horse of a totally insipid conspiracy theory? Again that is a rhetorical question. These fuckwits aren't about to become rational any-fucking-time soon...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Ornamental righteousness...

The latest non-controversy of feigned righteous indignation in my beloved state comes in the form of a politically charged Christmas tree ornament. Read here: http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/12/03/white_house_ornament/
This faux controversy is almost as insipid as the circus created by the Atheist sign next to the plastic Chinese-made baby Jeebus in Olympia but not quite. The pathetic reactions from some of the remaining 22% of Americans dumb enough to still support the worst president in American history are just comical. I find it highly amusing that people can become enraged by a fucking ornament. Mostly they argue that a Christmas tree is no place for partisan political statements, but I believe there is nothing remotely partisan about wanting Bush impeached. Also hilarious is the belief that somehow art isn't inherently about sometimes controversial personal expression, political or otherwise, to which I ask, what rock have these people been living under?

Where was the justice when the previous President was impeached simply because he lied about a fucking consensual sex act? Yet our current president has been able to violate the Constitution, commit war crimes and lie to the American people with absolute impunity and face no consequences whatsoever, that in my opinion is injustice in it's highest form. Yet some people believe that the artist who created this ornament should be the one who feels shame. You have got to be fucking kidding me! We have the worst, most corrupt, most incompetent president in the history of our nation and they consider an ornament that calls for his impeachment an embarrassment to our state? Where are the priorities of these people? Where is their loyalty to their country and the laws of our land? In my opinion they are nothing but partisan hacks of shallow character who need a hobby beside self-righteousness.

One person wrote to the Editor of the Times stating oh-so-righteously that, "The artist who did do it wasn't shy about accepting the hospitality of the White House and munched on roast beef and consumed soft drinks and white wine at the good will of the person she hates. She seems to fit the definition of hypocrite. If you think that it's been the good will of Islamic extremists that they have not murdered any more people in the United States, you are wrong again. Our president is responsible for the artist being safe ever since 9/11 in the policies and commitments he's made since then."

First off the White House is a publicly financed institution, so any hospitality she received there had been paid for with our taxes including hers, it was not some benevolent largess supplied by our beloved monarch Georgie the boy King. Secondly the writer seems to believe that George Bush has protected us since 9/11. They don't seem to comprehend that he was the person in charge during the 9/11 attacks and he failed completely to heed any of the specific warnings about what was to occur. In fact he was on the first of his record amount of presidential vacations a mere eight months into his maladministration when these warnings were issued. If Bush is responsible for us not getting attacked since 9/11, then he is also responsible for us getting attacked on 9/11, that's some mighty protector...

But frankly this bullshit meme that he has protected us since then is just an fallacy that defies logic. The artist is in the same amount of danger that any American is from any criminal act, but specifically the statistical chance that an American will die in a terrorist attack is so small that it is virtually non-existent. But yet that fear card and his alleged protective paternalism is played at every hand as if it were a substantive argument forgiving Bush of his many crimes. But he kept us safe from the Evil-doers, they cry! As if we were ever in any real danger to begin with. There hasn't been an another attack because al-Qaida doesn't need to attack us again, they have achieved their stated goals by engaging us in their sphere of influence in an attempt to bankrupt us with unending warfare on their terms, not because George Bush has protected us.

The real hypocrisy here comes from people who are willfully ignorant of the crimes of this President and point an accusatory finger at the people who merely say that the Emperor has no clothes...

Friday, December 5, 2008

Thank FSM for Funny Fridays...

The Nelson laugh of the day comes from none other than the infamous OJ Simpson. Although the judge specifically stated that the length of punishment was for his latest crime and not any previous. I find it hard to believe there was not even a hint of malice in the judge's sentence. It is most certainly a previous mistake rectified....Ha Ha...


But the real laugh of the day comes to us from an English clergyman who demonstrates the dangers of decorating in the nude. Just remember it's not up to us to question his story, he's a Vicar he wouldn't lie...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

You mean a legacy besides criminal incompetence?

Georgie the boy King has been busy giving interviews trying vainly to re-imagine history. Instead of doing what we pay him for, you know...being president. Which now more so than usual is a job in which he seems less than interested in performing. In multiple interviews he has been putting an Orwellian spin to even a hint of culpability. He makes it seem like he hasn't been responsible for a single thing that has happened during the last eight years. He is holding up his hand to the audience, believing himself to have Jedi mind powers he says, "I freed eight million people, Invading and occupying Iraq was a good idea. The economy and bad intelligence were Clinton's fault." He or someone around him, most likely his parents, have even formed a committee of former advisers in a desperate attempt to salvage any legacy other than his failure at every level of management and leadership of our government. Their goal; somehow make him something other than the anti-Midas. The guy who's touch turns everything to shit...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

300 Posts and as you may have guessed - I'm still pissed...

Once again we have a declaration from that bold fresh piece of human excrement...I mean humanity, Bill O'Reilly. He's telling everyone that he alone knows of the secularist conspiracy to eliminate Christmas forever. He has proclaimed that the annual struggle to ban Christmas and all it's merry accouterments has once again resumed. It's yet another season of big viewing numbers for him, and another in a long line of fruitless winter campaigns for those evil secularists who have waged their unsuccessful campaign of terror against all decent God-fearing Americans...



It's very funny that Billo rails against Chris Gregoire and my beloved state in general as a hotbed of wacky secularist ideas. Then one of the people he interviews mentions something about loony leftist Seattle and it's nekkid bikers. In Bill's eyes, My fair city is one of those towns in league with Satan like Madison, Wisconsin. We probably embrace those dreaded San Fransisco values as well...

There is no war when people who are not Christian are just asking for equal time. This group has as much right to be on public property as that tacky Baby Jeebus doll does. No one has asked that the nativity be removed from the Capitol building, nor the very Pagan tree, mistletoe, wreaths, lights, and frankly most of the trappings of what we known as Christmas. In fact the day itself is the actual day when my Pagan ancestors celebrated the Winter Solstice. So Bill's whole bullshit feigned outrage about a "War on Christmas" is just that - Bullshit! It simply does not exist.

Of course that is not going to stop Bill, it is not the first time he has feigned righteous indignation about just about anything he considers secular or leftist that is all part of his very tired shtick. But really he should read a little history and learn about the real war on Christmas which was waged by, get this, you guessed it - Christians! Look it up, in some Protestant communities, celebrating Christmas could be punished by torture and sometimes death. But to Bill being the inclusive tolerant sort, the U.S. will always be exclusively a Christian country, screw everybody else...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Fun in the rain...

We just got back from three glorious days in scenic Birch Bay where we spent our sixth wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it, time flies when you're not paying attention as I always say...seriously just ask anyone. I say that all the fucking time. I am so tragically predictable it's pathetic...The weather was almost an exact replica of our honeymoon in Semiahmoo six years ago. Except this time visibility was maybe a mile as opposed to the thirty feet back then. In typical Northwest fashion it rained non-stop, but a little bad weather never deters true Washingtonians, we just pretend it's nice and go right ahead with our slightly damp, cold, and windy picnic.

We mostly stayed indoors and enjoyed the fireplace in our room, but we also walked the beach and enjoyed some of the local cuisine. I can highly recommend CJ's Beach House http://www.cjsbeachhouse.com/ great food, great service, wonderful view, and most of all reasonably priced. The most bizarre thing happened though. When we were picnicking on Semiahmoo spit we encountered some people that seemed strangely familiar. I recognized their car because of it's make and the Dennis Kucinich for President bumper sticker, even though we are in the Seattle area, those are a lot less common then you might assume. When the people returned to their car I put two and two together and realized they were on the ferry with us on our last trip to Port Townsend. It was a little weird. If I see them on our next trip I will definitely accuse them of stalking us, just for shits and giggles.

Anyway I want to wish my lovely wife a happy anniversary and recommend sleepy little Birch Bay as yet another great vacation destination right here in the greatest place in the whole fucking world, beautiful Washington state.